If having multiple passions, desires, talents, businesses and it’s about to make you lose your mind….. well maybe :)? Ohhhh that’s right, its called being an artist. A fleating, over-joyed, inspired by every friggin thing, natural-born renaissancy spirit. I ponder about what I would be like without all this colorful interference constantly in my brain and haven’t really come to a concrete conclusion. But when I ask my friends about my dilemma, they tell me “without it” I would be no-where near as fun as I am now. I just love my friends (big smile). All through the year 2013 I maneuvered through the maze of multiple blogs, websites, facebook pages, etsy sites, etc, etc. in the hopes to give all my nitches and talents their own name and space. I kept looking at them from a distance as a separate entity, instead of the reality of where they really lived…… inside me. Every single thought, poem, painting, concoction of teas and herbal pleasures, crocheted beauties and crafts….. lives in this unique space called “the spirit of Yvonne Zepeda” that is unlike anyone or anything else that will ever exist on this physical plane. And the best thing I learned is this: “Though I have the talents and abilities to do multiple artistic and creative projects, doesn’t mean I SHOULD do ALL of them, or at least not at the same time!”. So, I’m officially branding myself. I am a brand. And from here on, every creation I come up with will be displayed here on this blog site. I’m looking forward to closing down all the other virtual spaces. With love and light this year and always, I look forward to bringing you laughter, words, art, crafts and wisdom. Happy New Year!
I bolt up into a sitting position on the side of my bed. Drenched in sweat, my head shaking, my body stiff with adrenaline and my chest tight and barely breathing. “Oh no”, its coming again. Another one of those damn panic attacks. The one’s I’ve dealt with for 11 years now. I jump into action. Deep breathe in, hold four, breath out eight. Two more times. And as I start to relax, my mind does instant replay.
It’s an important night. In a beautiful, hotel conference room. Writers and painters rushing everywhere getting ready for their big night. Painters checking their easels and adjusting their work. Writers re-reading silently to themselves the story or poem they’ll perform. I’m dressed professionally in a white blouse and black, pencil skirt with black stilettos. Nervously checking to be sure the guest speakers are here, the podium has the microphone, and the wait staff is serving water and wine. I sit down at a large, round table with crisp white table clothes and an amber colored chandelier hanging above illuminating everyone sitting around me….. my family and friends. It’s a beautiful night.
The speaker steps up and as she does, she starts to announce the artist’s names. My sister Monica starts talking to me about something un-related and I tell her “Shush, be quite they’re starting”. I look back to the podium and the speaker says my name. I’m shaking my head “No, stupid woman. Not me, the artists….. all of them”. As she speaks my name and starts rambling about my life, her voice turns muffled and I can’t understand. I see them unveil the large painting beside her, which I clearly recognize as my own. It’s a painting of me. Nude, my body curvy and full. I’m crawling through beautiful, abundant wild flowers. It’s one of the most beautiful oil paintings I’ve ever done.
The speaker’s voice comes back and I hear her reading the ending of a poem I wrote about this painting. Something about……. “Carry me protectively into the wind, or burn me bravely from the outside in with molten fire”. I’m listening and just then, I see the flowers melting on top of my body.
By: Yvonne Zepeda